My 5 am thoughts catalog — to be continued

Hussnain Fareed
3 min readSep 14, 2020

Not knowing what it means, really sucks!

I know this coming from me who is funny, intelligent, maybe selfish who don’t give a fuck about others, sexy and is of his own league 😎 (hehe just kidding) must be hard to swallow for you but we all have some other sides and its all about that.

Raw, from my heart to your heart.

I’m packing up this life and I am writing this daily 5 am thought log to become more aware of my irrational thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and the relationships between all three.

But before I do I should say that this article reflects me sharing my personal thoughts and opinion. The Process, A Journey of becoming immortal 🦾🏃‍♂️

Note: Lofi music in the background would work just fine (just saying)

Secretly different

There is a world out there that I haven’t explored yet, that I would love to be a part of. But I can’t; maybe just because of how I am and there's nothing wrong with it.

But am I willing to put aside my comfort zone for the things that are important to me?

Insecurity

I am currently experiencing life at the rate of several WTFs per hour. But learning how to live with insecurity is the only security!

Open Up

“Dying to talk, Afraid to Text” has been my permanent constant for some time after my first breakup (i don’t like this word but my words are limited in English). Anyways, I learned that a relationship can’t get profoundly deep if communication isn’t open and frequent.

We are all works in progress

Failure is just testing.

I don’t think I fail

There is a deal between me and a system.

If I get good grades, then I get a good job, will earn a lot of money, and keep servants and helpers. But, I don’t want that deal. So that deal fails, not me!

1:11:2022

A scary, never-ending night of long darkness and moonlight gave me the experience, fun, and emotional ride of my life when I just found out that Love is irrational, you can’t rationalize real love it doesn’t make any sense.

I may have told hundreds of lies to you but that day wasn’t a lie. I loved the way you were imperfect.

I doubt I’ve ever dared to love anybody that much. I never loved someone more than myself.

The funny patch is “The day it started, Is the day it ended”

The Ministry of Presence

Presence can be all somebody needs. Sometimes that's all you need to offer a person who's in the situation.

I guess the love we had in our past, unfinished, untested, lost love is the purest love.

The Process

The Man who loves walking will walk further than the man who loves the destination. I’ve Learned to love the journey.

11:11:2022

If you betray me, then I have to see you differently and you know if we have interacted for a long time I've built up a hell of a model of you, and it's taken a tremendous amount of effort to generate. If you're close to me and you could do this to me then I may have to retool myself and my actions.

Unbalanced

if it’s not okay it’s not the end! Sometimes you need to be unbalanced to achieve greatness, or to be the best. I am gonna live a life for many years and at certain times without balance.

Past — not anymore

Today I am gonna kill someone living inside me, she’s in the past and the past is not my concern.

Everyday is a story

Start living in the moments

Thoughtless State

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Hussnain Fareed

A Software Engineer & Occasional Traveler. Often writes about Tech, Learning and Career 🍓 Lets get in touch: https://linktr.ee/hussnainfareed